Chapter Eleven
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Break it up, you two. Am I gonna have to get a hose?"
Toby's voice infiltrated the fog surrounding Walter's brain. Tearing his
lips away from Paige's, he realized she was pushed back against the cushions
of the sofa and he was more or less lying on top of her. Her glazed eyes
met his as they both became conscious of the fact they were not alone.
He rolled off of her, sitting in the empty space on her right side. Walter
buried his face in his hands, rubbing his damp cheeks, before catching a
glimpse of the others in the room. The rest of the team, except for Toby,
were staring at him in open-mouthed horror. The shrink just looked concerned.
Walter glanced at Paige, whose face was bright red. "Oh, God," she whispered
before covering her face with her hands.
Cabe cleared his throat. "Uh, maybe we should go pick up Ralph," he suggested,
tapping Sylvester on the arm.
"Yes, we should," the human calculator agreed. His cheeks were as pink as
Paige's as he took a step toward the couple on the couch, looking as if he
was about to say something before pivoting around to follow the Homeland
agent out the door.
"Holy hell," Toby began, "I'm sorry, guys, I had no idea. . ." He shook his
head.
"Does this mean you'll leave us alone now?" asked Walter as he reached over,
finding Paige's hand and clasping it tightly.
"Oh, no," the shrink replied. "If anything, it strengthens my belief you
both need counseling more than ever. I'm going to set up appointments for
each of you."
"Dammit, Toby." Walter closed his eyes, weary of the whole argument. A squeeze
of his hand snapped his eyes back open and he turned to look at Paige.
"I think we should go," she murmured, biting her lip. "If you hate me. .
."
"I don't hate you," he cut in. "I could never hate you. I. . ."
"Well, if you're angry with me then," said Paige. "We need to deal with this.
Your anger, my. . .whatever. . ."
"Denial," Toby supplied. "Plus a bit of a martyr complex and. . ."
"Shut up, Doc."
The brittleness in Happy's voice caused them all to stare at her. "Leave
her alone. She's had a tough enough time of it without you digging into her
head."
With that, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the garage. It was obvious
Toby was torn between rushing after her or staying to finish his discussion
with them.
"Let her go," said Paige. Taking a deep breath which sounded like a sob,
she continued, "She's right, I can't handle. . ." She stared down at the
floor.
"Okay, okay, I'll back off. . .for now." The psychiatrist placed his hands
on his hips as he glanced from her to Walter. "But I'm serious, you both
need to continue seeing Dr Rizzuto."
"Fine," Walter agreed. "I don't know what you think he can accomplish but.
. ."
"Did you even hear what you just said to each other? You've only admitted
you're angry. You still don't know why."
"Maybe I don't want to know why." Rubbing at his eyes with his free hand,
Walter then glared at the shrink.
"You want to know the answer to everything," Paige said. "It's one of the
first things I learned about you. And even if you don't, I. . .I think I
need to talk to someone about what happened."
He immediately felt like an ass. She'd had to deal with so much more than
he had. He'd been nothing more than a worthless lump, while she. . . "I'll
go," he acquiesced, "and I'll cooperate this time."
"That's all I ask," said Toby.
Paige smiled shyly as she glanced at Walter. "Is it okay if Ralph and I stay
here tonight?"
"You can stay as long as you like," he replied, grinning back at her. Not
that they'd be able to do anything, but he still wanted her keep her close.
"Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted." The psychiatrist grabbed his gear
and started to head out the door. "Oh, crap," he said, turning around. "Can
I borrow a car? Happy and I rode in together yesterday and. . ."
"Take mine." Walter tossed his keys to the other man, which fell short by
about a foot. The shrink made a lunge for them, tripping over his own feet,
nearly face-planting onto the floor. Once he regained his balance, he snatched
up the keys and sauntered toward the door.
"Thanks. I just hope it doesn't get towed because the neighbors think it's
an abandoned vehicle," he said, getting in one last gibe before exiting the
garage.
Toby walked toward Walter's piece of crap Datsun until the toot of a horn
caused him to lift his head.
"Happy," he said as he climbed into the passenger seat of her truck. "I thought
you'd be long gone."
"How else are you going to get home, numb nuts?" She was staring straight
ahead as he buckled his seat belt.
"You wanna tell me what that was all about in there?"
"Nope." Happy started the engine and shifted into gear. "Take off your shrinking
hat for the night and just be my boyfriend, all right?"
"Your boyfriend, huh? I can do that." He took off his hat and starting spinning
it around on his right index finger.
"You hungry?" she asked as the truck came to a stop at a red light.
"I could eat, yes."
"Chucky Burger?"
"Sure, why not? I have a few arteries yet that remain unclogged."
"Don't you ever get tired of being right?" Happy kept looking out the windshield
as they moved through the green light.
"Not really, no," he said. "Comes with the territory of being a genius. I've
learned to humbly accept it."
"Yeah, humbly." He heard the sarcasm in her voice before it became serious.
"Even geniuses can make mistakes."
"Ooo, is that what. . ." She snapped her head around to glare at him. "Right,
no shrinking. You're a hard woman, Happy Quinn."
"Are you complaining, Doc?"
"No, I don't believe I am." He leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder.
"I love you."
She shrugged him off. "You're an idiot."
"That you love."
"Sure."
"That's the best I'm going to get tonight, isn't it?"
"Not if you shut up and play your cards right." She was once again keeping
her eyes on the road, but he saw the corner of her mouth curl. He could definitely
be quiet for what he hoped she had in mind.
Two Weeks Later
"So let me get this straight," Dr Rizzuto said as he sat across from Walter.
"It's all right for you to put your life on the line to save others. . .
This greater good theory. . ." He made air quotes as he said ‘greater good.'
". . .you put so much stock into. . . Sacrifice the one to save the many."
He shook his head. "But no one else is supposed to invoke it in order to
save you?"
Walter glanced down at his shoes, noticing a small scuff mark near the toe
of the left one. "Yes."
"So you think you're not worth saving?" the therapist asked. "A genius with
a 197 IQ, someone smarter than Einstein? You see yourself as expendable?"
"Yes, if the situation warrants it."
"So when Ms Dineen was willing to let herself be raped in order to keep you
alive, when she invoke the greater good, how did that make you feel?"
Walter clenched his fists. Ugly images filled his head as he relived those
terrifying moments. "I didn't like it," he replied grudgingly
"She must have thought your life was worth saving even if she had to endure
a few minutes of. . ."
"Shut up!" Jumping to his feet, Walter glared at the other man. "Just shut
up!"
"Sit down." Rizzuto calmly stood as well, towering over him. Walter obeyed,
tossing himself back down onto the couch. "Thank you. Let me ask this then.
Why do you think she would sacrifice herself for you?"
"I don't know," he lied. Oh, he had thought of a few irrational reasons to
explain her behavior, but none he wanted to admit to himself.
"Which part bothered you more, the sacrifice or the sex?
"Both," he blurted out. He got to his feet once again and began pacing. His
mind was racing; pictures and sounds and thoughts, all tumbling over each
other, trying to push themselves to the forefront of his brain. Giving his
head a shake, he attempted to focus on an abstract painting hanging on the
opposite wall.
"Well, we're finally getting somewhere," said Rizzuto. "Of course, no man
wants to see the person he loves brutally raped. That's totally understandable."
"It wouldn't have been brutal," Walter murmured. "I don't think they really
wanted to hurt her. They just wanted to. . ."
"Have sex with her? And she agreed?"
"Yes. Why? Why would she. . .?"
"Maybe she thought they would spare you if she didn't fight them?"
"She said that." Walter shook her head, his breathing growing harsh. "I was
as good as dead anyway. She should have just let them kill me."
"To save you from having to see her have sex with other men?"
"Yes. . .no. . . I don't know." His chest began to hurt, his eyes grew blurry,
and his stomach churned. He had to sit back down.
"You know, most sexual assaults are about power over the victim, about dominance,
and not about sex. What makes you think this was about sex?"
"There was a hidden camera in the ceiling, in the light bulb. . ." Walter
saw the therapist raise his eyebrows, no doubt remembering their first session
which had been interrupted by the earthquake. ". . .and I. . .we had just.
. . for the first time. . .and they must have watched us and. . ."
"And they thought if she would have intercourse with you, she'd have it with
them too?"
"Yes. It was my fault. I should have stopped her. . . I tried to stop. .
.but. . ." Rubbing his eyes, he continued, "But I couldn't and they saw.
. ."
"So she initiated the sex between you?" Walter nodded. The doctor looked
thoughtful. "When you say it was the first time, do you mean it your first
time together or your first time ever?"
It suddenly became very hard to breathe. "Both," he whispered, bracing himself
for the jeering comments he knew would follow.
"Interesting," was all Rizzuto said. "But unfortunately, our time is up for
today. We'll pick this up the same time next week."
"Fine." Walter couldn't move, he felt worse than when he'd been hanging off
the side of the cliff in the wrecked Ferrari.
"Walter, are you all right?" the therapist asked, looking concerned. "Physically,
I mean."
"I'm okay, just. . ." He took a deep breath as he stood up. "I don't like
to. . . It's hard for me to deal with. . ."
"Your emotions?" Rizzuto smiled. "Yes, I know. Why don't you stay in the
reception area until you feel calmer? Have Emma make you a cup of herbal
tea."
"No, I need to get back to work," he lied. They'd only had a few minor cases
over the last couple of weeks, barely enough to keep them busy. He didn't
know if Cabe was deliberately giving them easy missions or if there was genuinely
nothing else to do.
About five minutes later, Walter slid behind the wheel of his Datsun. Pulling
out into traffic, he tried to keep his mind on the road, but it kept straying
to thoughts of Paige and the gut-wrenching decision she'd had to make.
Was it possible she loved him so much she would endure. . .what she'd been
willing to endure? He knew he loved her enough to endure anything for her,
even dying if he had to. It was rather unnerving to think she felt the same
way.
Absently noting he was nearing the garage, he stopped at an intersection
before proceeding through it. Out of nowhere, a large dark vehicle t-boned
his car, hitting it on the driver's side. Walter barely registered smashing
his head against the window before he blacked out.