Chapter One
"So, are you ready to go?" Linda's voice penetrated his head and he tore
his eyes away from where Paige was smiling at Tim.
"Yes." Walter wanted to stay and help celebrate the court victory Ralph and
Heywood had pulled off that day. But he was also glad to have an excuse to
leave. Jealousy had become an all too familiar feeling of late and if he
was forced to endure much more of the flirtation between Tim and Paige, he
was sure he was going to do or say something he would regret. So, yes, he
was ready to go.
Glancing one last time at Paige, he thought he caught a glimmer of pain in
her eyes before she dazzled the Homeland trainee with another one of her
smiles. It must have just been the light, he told himself. She obviously
was enjoying herself with the other man.
He felt a hand take his, causing him to want to immediately pull away until
he realized it was Linda tugging on his arm. Forcing himself to relax, he
held the door open so she could pass through before exiting it himself.
Several hours later, he walked with her to another door, the one to her apartment.
He still thought it an antiquated notion to see a woman safely home, but
both Toby and Cabe had explained to him women expected it and it was the
gentlemanly thing to do. He bowed to their superior knowledge about dating
and women in general, even though their track records with the female sex
were far from perfect. At least both had been in a relationship with a woman
for longer than three months.
"Do you want to come in for coffee?" Linda asked as they stopped in front
of her door. She was smiling eagerly up at him.
"No, it's far too late to indulge in a caffeinated beverage," he replied.
She frowned and he wondered what he had done wrong. It really was too late
to drink coffee. He had enough trouble sleeping lately. A large dose of caffeine
at this hour would only aggravate matters.
"Okay, well, good night, Walter."
He put his hand in his jacket pocket and felt the two pieces of cardstock
he had placed their earlier. "Uh, Linda," he began, "I. . .uh. . .have two
tickets to the Lake Tahoe Jazz and Heritage Festival. And, um, I was wondering
if you would be available to go with me?"
"A jazz festival?" Her face looked like it smelled something unpleasant.
"Yes. It's next weekend. I thought I should let you know ahead of time in
case you need to change your schedule in order to go." He pulled the tickets
out and handed them to her.
"A jazz festival," she repeated after gazing at them for a minute or two.
"Jazz?"
"Yes. Most people think it's just organized chaos but I find it has intricate
mathematical properties that are fascinating."
"Mathematical properties, huh?" The look of confusion on her face confused
him. Maybe what Toby had said was true. That she really didn't care for him,
she just cared about reliving the feeling of the time he had saved her from
being blown up. What had he called it? Damsel disorder or syndrome or something
like that.
"How could I possibly pass that up?" She smiled at him as she handed back
the tickets. "I'd love to go."
"Great. We'll leave next Friday afternoon and come back Sunday night."
"So we'll be there two nights?"
"Yes, and two days." He didn't understand why her cheeks were flushed. The
hallway was warm, but not that warm.
She kissed him then. Just a quick peck on the lips. Still, it took all his
control not to flinch away. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?" she
asked.
"Uh, yes, no, um, good night."
"Good night, Walter."
He heard disappointment in her voice. It was something he had heard before,
in other women's voices. It didn't used to bother him. It didn't bother him
now. There was only one woman whose disappointment bothered him. And he didn't
want to think about her right now.
"Whoa. That was. . .messy."
Walter looked up as Paige approached him as he slouched in a chair in front
of Happy's workstation. "Yes, a mess that I caused." He glanced down at the
floor then back up at her. "I should have stood by my decision on interoffice
relationships. I didn't. And now. . .Happy's crying, Toby's distraught. It's
going to ripple through the whole team."
"Don't blame yourself. Relationships are messy. That's their nature." She
stopped in front of him, close enough he could smell her lavender hand cream,
a scent which sent his libido into overdrive.
He popped out of his chair. "That's exactly my point," he said as he paced
past her. "Someone works. . .with a woman everyday, enjoys her company, is
attracted to her, thinks what. . .what she'll be doing when he sees her at
work. . ." Turning to face her, he continued, " and what she'll be doing
at night. . .when she goes back home. But if it's going to derail the goals
we've set here at Scorpion. . .then it can't be realized.
"You know, those feelings need to be buried and left alone," he pleaded.
She stared at him with a puzzled expression. "You are talking about. . .Toby?"
"What?" Toby? Oh, yeah, Toby. "Yeah. Of course." Of course, he wasn't. He
was talking about them. How she consumed his thoughts, night and day. And
how he wished those feelings could be realized. But it was a risk he couldn't
take. He needed her in his life, he couldn't afford to lose her.
"Oh. Okay." The disappointment he heard in her voice nearly weakened his
resolve. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her until they were
both senseless. But he couldn't. It would ruin everything.
"Well, uh, I should be going," he said. "Linda's waiting."
"Yeah, sure." She spoke in a monotone "Yes, you should."
"Unless, of course, you think that with everything going on, I should maybe,
uh, cancel, and stay here?" he suggested. "And, uh, help with Toby? It's
like you said. It's messy."
He winced at how pathetic he sounded. Begging her to let him go one minute,
then the next begging her to ask him to stay. But he didn't want to go. Didn't
want to spend the next fifty hours or so in the company of another woman.
A woman who could never compare to the one in front of him.
Paige gazed at him, her usually expressive eyes devoid of any emotion. "It's
probably best you go."
"Okay." Her haunted countenance made his chest hurt. He took a deep breath
but the pain didn't ease. He had to leave before he did something stupid.
"Well, I'll see you in a couple days."
"Okay." She turned and walked away.
His whole body felt paralyzed, he couldn't move. His jacket and duffel bag
were already loaded in his car. All he had to do was walk out the door. He
was either making the best decision of his life or the worst. And as much
as he wanted to believe it was for the best, his every instinct was screaming
it was the worst.
Looking around the garage, he saw her talking to Tim for a few minutes, then
the tall blond man gave her a hug.
He turned and walked out the door.