"The Magician"

Written by Ted Alben & Greg Klein
Directed by Michael Vejar

First US Airdate 9 March 1990 Episode 1.14

[A man's hands hold a golden object which he pulls apart and it burst into flames as people murmur in the background.]

Voices
Oooh!  Oooh!

[People start clapping. A well-dressed man holds the flaming gold halves up into the air and smiles as he stands on a stage in the tavern.  Mendoza is clapping while Victoria looks on skeptically.]

Mendoza
Bravo, Señor!  Bravo!

[People continue to clap as the man turns and places the halves on a table behind him.  Diego and Don Alejandro sit at a table and clap.  The man who is obviously a magician, turns back around to face the crowd and holds up a vial.]

Magician
Water.  Our earth is half submerged by it.

Diego [to Don Alejandro]
Actually, seventy percent of the earth is under the surface of the water.

[The magician glares at Diego as he overhears him.]

Magician
But this water is unlike any you will ever see.

[Diego and Don Alejandro look on from their table as does Victoria leaning against the bar.]

Magician
A dead bird, found just today by Sergeant Mendoza and myself.

[He places a limp white bird on the table as Mendoza puffs out his chest proudly.]

Magician
For those who believe that death is everlasting, you are about to be proven wrong.

[He walks down off the stage and holds out his hand to Victoria.]

Magician
Perhaps the lady could lend her graceful hand to my effort?

[He walks up to Victoria who looks flattered.  She follows the magician up to the stage as Diego, Don Alejandro, and everyone else claps loudly.]

Magician [walking behind Victoria and standing to her right.]
Now, if you would so kindly, Señorita, pour some water onto the bird.

[He indicates the vial he held up earlier and Victoria picks it up then sprinkles some of it on the bird's face.  The bird starts to move.  The magician pokes at it and it starts flapping its wings and chirping.  Mendoza claps his hands with his mouth hanging open.  The magician lifts the bird into the air while it is perched on his finger.  Then he looks over at Victoria and smiles.  Diego and Don Alejandro clap as does Mendoza.]

Magician
Thank you, Señorita.

[He lifts her hand to his lips.  She walks down off the stage.]

Magician [indicating a panel with a blade]
Next, we come to the guillotine.

[He picks up the panel and sets it down on the table with a mock menacing expression.]

Don Alejandro [to Diego]
Really quite spectacular.

Diego
He must have switched birds somehow.

Don Alejandro
Nonsense.  His hands never touched it.

[The magician places a potato into a hole in the panel.  Then with the look of mock menace again, he forces down the blade and cuts the potato in two.]

Magician
Do we still have an unbeliever? [He looks over at Diego.] Señor Skeptical, perhaps you would like to help me in my next trick?

[A reluctant Diego gets to his feet and joins the magician on stage as people clap.  Victoria claps and smiles at Diego.  Diego gives a little bow once he's on stage.  The magician lifts the blade back up.]

Magician
Put your hand through there.

[Diego sticks his left hand into the hole.  The magician places a carrot into a smaller hole to the right of Diego's hand.]

Voices
Oh no!  Oh no!

[Victoria looks on worriedly as does Don Alejandro.  The magician pushes down the blade and the carrot is cut in two but Diego's hand is not severed.  Mendoza and Don Alejandro sigh with relief as Victoria looks impressed.  The magician removes the front of the panel to reveal that the blade is intact and should have cut off Diego's hand as people clap and cheer.  Diego waves his hand in the air.]

Magician
So what is the secret of the magician this time, Señor Skeptical?

Diego [jokingly]
Two different blades?

[Mendoza laughs loudly and points at Diego as others laugh as well.]

Magician
I must say, you are quite impressive. [He reaches into his jacket.] Almost as impressive as this fine timepiece.

[He pulls a pocketwatch out of his jacket.  Diego pats his waistband and realizes it must be his.  People laugh.]

Magician [giving the watch to Diego]
I believe this belongs to you.

[People laugh and clap.]

Magician [bowing to Diego]
Thank you, Señor.

[Diego bows to the magician then to the crowd before walking off the stage and going back to sit next to Don Alejandro.]

Magician
Now if you could please donate whatever you can before I must disappear from your pueblo.

[He hands a brown tophat to Mendoza who makes a big show of placing a coin in the hat.  The magician walks past Mendoza and over to Victoria.]

Magician
Your assistance is appreciated, Señorita as well as your beauty.

[He lifts up her hand to his lips again as Diego looks on with interest.]

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

[Exterior shot of the tavern as a man walks in front of it.]

[A woman's hand reaches for a wine bottle from a rack when a man's hand reaches over the top of it and helps take down the bottle of wine.  Victoria looks up at the magician warily as they both hold the bottle.]

Magician
Magnificent vintage.  Smooth texture, rich in character.  Such timeless beauty.  Ah! [He looks down at Victoria's hand] Forgive me, these hands, they are so delicate, so fine.  They are the hands of a magician's assistant.

Victoria [looking unnerved as she pulls the wine bottle out of his grasp]
I'm sure one must have other qualifications as well.

Magician [pulling out a black handkerchief]
Only one.  You have a speck of dirt. [He dabs the handkerchief on her cheek.] Ah! [He holds up the handkerchief then whips it away to reveal a single red long-stemmed rose.] Imagination.

Victoria [reluctantly taking the rose]
It's lovely.  Thank you. [She starts to move away.] Please excuse me.  I have to finish.

Magician
A woman as beautiful as you, stacking bottles. [Victoria stops and turns to look at him.] You deserve better.

Victoria
I like managing the tavern.  I am happy here.

Magician
I too was content until I saw the world.

Victoria [a bit sadly]
I'm sure there's much to see.

Magician [stepping closer and placing his hands on her face]
Only if shared with the right person.

[Victoria looks even more unnerved as the magician looks at her like he is going to kiss her.]

[Exterior shot of the de la Vega hacienda with darkish clouds in the sky.]

[A brown-speckled bird is lying in a cage.  Felipe walks into the secret cave where the cage rests on Diego's desk.  Diego is reading a book.  Felipe looks worriedly into the cage at the bird and pats Diego on the shoulder.]

Diego [looking over at the bird]
Oh it's all right.  She's not hurt, it's only an experiment.

[Felipe looks back into the cage.]

Diego
All night, I've wondered how Foucard could bring a dead bird back to life, without substituting a live one.  For example. . . [He begins waving his hands around.] If I said to you there were gold coins pouring out of your ears, you wouldn't believe me?

[Felipe shakes his head no.  Diego flips his right hand from back to front then reaches out and pulls a gold coin from behind Felipe's ear.]

Diego [as Felipe holds his hand up to his ear]
You see, it's an illusion.  And like all illusions, preparation is the key. [He stands up.] Now this morning, I trapped this bird and feed her a few drops of wine.  As you can see, she's fallen so deeply asleep she could easily be mistaken for dead. [He picks up a vial of clear liquid.] I propose Foucard's bird was simply drunk and the water revived her.

[He pours several drops of water onto the bird's head.  The bird stays motionless.  Diego pours more water onto the bird and still nothing happens.  Felipe looks over at Diego questioningly.]

Diego
Must have feed her too much wine.  But how could Foucard know exactly how much to use so the bird would sleep until the proper moment? [He thinks for a moment then looks over at Felipe.] Unless. . .  Unless he added a stimulant to the water.  That's it.

[Mendoza is in the tavern, a napkin tied around his neck as he pushes his plate away.  Diego walks into the tavern and up to Mendoza's table.]

Diego [as Mendoza pulls the napkin off and wipes his face with it]
Buenas dias, Sergeant.  Eating rather heartily, I see.

Mendoza [putting his right hand on his stomach]
Oh, to settle the nerves. [He looks to his left then leans forward, beckoning Diego to sit down which he does.] Tonight a shipment of gold bullions is arriving.  I have to guard it.

Diego [picking up a pitcher]
That doesn't seem so difficult.

Mendoza [as Diego pours out a glass of water]
Last week, a shipment was robbed near San Francisco.  The driver was attacked by a giant fireball.

Diego
Fireball?  That's interesting.  I've never seen one.

Mendoza
I only know how to fight banditos.  I know nothing about fireballs.

Foucard [coming up to their table and sitting down]
Except it's a mistake to catch one with your bare hands.

[Mendoza laughs as Diego takes a drink of water.]

Foucard
So how are the men doing, Sergeant?

Mendoza
Oh fine, Señor Foucard .  Thank you for your help.

Diego
You were in the military, Monsieur?

Foucard
No, no.  Just a scholar.  Sergeant Mendoza explained his tactics for defending the shipment.  I merely shared Napoleon's strategy of protective formations.

[A old woman comes up and kisses Foucard's left hand.  Diego stares in amazement.  The old woman leaves.]

Foucard
She hurt her back.  I manipulated her spine to relieve the pressure.

Mendoza
And Señor Mortate with his neck. [He points to his own neck.] You should stay with us a bit longer.

Foucard
Oh, I wish I could.  It's one of the lovelier pueblos I've ever seen. [He turns to Diego.] Your father mentioned you are a man of science.  There is science in magic and magic in science.

[Diego smiles skeptically.]

Foucard
Perhaps before I leave, we could sit down and share secrets.

[Victoria walks by their table without stopping.]

Foucard
Now if you will excuse me, I have travel plans to attend to.

[He gets up and follows Victoria.]

Foucard
Señorita Escalante, could you please bring me dinner tonight in my room at nine?

Victoria [as he lifts her hand to his lips again]
Si, Señor Foucard.

[Diego looks on with concern.  Foucard turns and walks past Diego and out of the tavern.  Victoria picks up a plate and glass from a table before turning to watch Foucard leave.]

Diego
There's something about him.

Mendoza
Ah, si.  He is a likable fellow.

[Mendoza smiles and nods at Diego who nods back while looking as if he is trying to figure something out.]

[Interior shot of the darkened main room of the tavern.]

[Victoria climbs the stairs carrying a napkin covered tray.   She stops at the first door at the top of the stairs and knocks three times.  Inside the room, Foucard is sleeping in the bed.  Three more knocks sound on the door.]

Victoria
Señor Foucard?

[When there is no answer, Victoria pushes the door open with her arm and steps inside.  Snoring noises are heard coming from the bed.]

Victoria
Señor Foucard?

[There is just more snoring as the body in the bed wiggles a little.]

Victoria
It's nine o'clock.  I'll leave your dinner here.

[She bends down to place the tray on a low object.  She backs out of the room and starts to close the door.]

Victoria
Good night, Señor.

[There is just more snoring and wiggling.  Victoria shuts the door.]

[Exterior shot of the setting sun below a tiny sliver of the moon.  Mendoza and three other lancers are on horseback waiting in the middle of a road in the middle of nowhere.]

Mendoza [in a shaky voice]
There is nothing to fear.  Fireballs don't appear out of thin air.

[A wagon drawn by two white horses and driven by a soldiers appears.]

Mendoza
Ah, the shipment.

[Mendoza and his men ride down to meet the wagon.]

Mendoza
Vamos.

[A fireball shoots out of thin air toward the wagon and impacts to its right.  The men and the horses panic.  Mendoza struggles to keep his horse under control.  The other lancers ride off.]

Mendoza
Wait!  The shipment!

[Another fireball comes straight at Mendoza who has to dodge to his left to avoid being hit by it.  Its explosion panics his horse even more.  A third fireball impacts even closer to him.]

[A short distance away, Zorro and Toronado watch as Mendoza on his panicked horse ride away, leaving the wagon unguarded except for the driver.  Someone knocks out the driver then grabs two white bags from the wagon.  Zorro rides up, his saber drawn as the robber rides away.  Zorro sees a black object on the ground near the wagon and dismounts.  He bends down and picks it up, looks at it, then tucks it into his waistband.  He gets back up on Toronado and they go after the robber.  Zorro catches up with the robber and slashes a ‘Z' into the back to the robber's coat.  Then the robber disappears.  Zorro spins Toronado around and rides back the way he came.]

[Zorro is climbing across rooftops in the pueblo.  He walks across an archway and over to the tavern, where he opens a window.  Inside, he sees Foucard's reflection in a mirror as the man sleeps in his bed.  Zorro moves away from the window, obviously not expecting Foucard to be in the room.]

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

[Exterior shot of the de la Vega hacienda the next morning.]

[Diego and Felipe are inside the secret cave where Diego is pouring a white powder into a small white bowl.  Felipe sticks his index finger into the bowl and then puts the finger in his mouth.  He makes a face as Diego laughs.]

Diego
Pyrositicsulfate.  A volatile substance with many different applications.  When mixed with water. . . [He scoops up some of the powder.] It produces a powerful stimulate that exhilarates [He sprinkles the powder on to the brown-speckled bird that is still unconscious.] the nervous system.  Watch.

[Diego pours water onto the bird.  The bird doesn't move.  Then Diego pours more water on it and it hops up and starts chirping.]

Diego [smiling]
Ah, voila!  Now, when mixed with alcohol. . .

[He walks behind Felipe and around the end of the laboratory table to where another container is sitting behind a piece of glass.]

Diego
The effects are dramatically different.  Watch.

[He sits down and scoops out some of the powder from the little white bowl, placing it in the container behind the glass.]

Diego
Pyrositicsulfate. . .

[He picks up a vial setting in front of the glass.]

Diego
Alcohol.

[He reaches around the glass and pours the alcohol into the container with the white powder.  It takes a moment before there is a loud, fiery explosion.  Diego chuckles as Felipe is wide-eyed.]

Diego [with Felipe peering over his shoulder]
The more powder and alcohol, the greater the flame.  Or fireball.  So it seems two mysteries are solved in one.  It was Foucard on the road last night.

[Exterior shot of the tavern as two soldiers walk in front of it.]

[Diego is at the top of the stairs, picking the lock on Foucard's door.]

Victoria [off camera at first and as Diego slides his lock-picking tool up his sleeve]
If you're looking for Señor Foucard, he's not in his room.

[She climbs up the stairs carrying a armful of linens.]

Diego
Did you happen to see him last night?

Victoria
As a matter of fact, we took a walk together in the moonlight.

Diego [a bit jealously]
When?

Victoria
I don't think that's any of your concern, Don Diego.

Diego
It's just that I had plans to meet with him last night.  He never arrived.

Victoria
Well, he was in his room sleeping.  Perhaps he had forgotten.

Diego
Quite.  Well, perhaps I'll see him later.

[Victoria walks down the hallway and Diego starts to go down the stairs.  When he hears Victoria close the door of one of the guest rooms, he turns back around, takes the lock-picking tool out of his sleeve and goes back to picking the lock on Foucard's door.  The lock finally opens and Diego steps into the room.  He closes the door behind him and notices a nail stuck into the top left-hand corner of it.  He puts his lock-pick into his jacket before grasping a piece of cord hanging from a clothing rack.  He walks further into the room and sees a trunk.  He opens it up and finds a plaster head and wig inside.  Diego reaches into the trunk and takes out a pulley.  He looks at it then at the nail in the door and the cord, obviously trying to figure something out.  He bends down and looks into the trunk again, pulling out a bellows.  Standing back up, he plays with the bellows before tossing them back into the trunk.]

[Downstairs, Victoria is sitting at a table across from Foucard.]

Foucard
Victoria, when my wife died, I shut my eyes to the hope of ever finding another woman.  They opened when they found you.  Be with me and everything you ever want will be yours.

Victoria
Everything I want is here.  This tavern, the people who depend on me. . .

Foucard
Victoria, I love you.

[Victoria looks ill as she works up the nerve to reply.]

Victoria
You are a very charming man.  But I'm afraid my heart belongs to another.  I cannot leave.

Foucard
When I love someone, I expect that love to be returned.  I will not leave without you.

Victoria [a bit ticked off]
Well, I'm sorry.  You have no choice.

Foucard [as he raises his sword and reaches under the table to jab it at Victoria's belly]
Then I'm afraid, neither do you.

[Victoria looks over at him with a very frightened expression.]

Foucard
Love is a game in which I never surrender the prize.

[Victoria looks over at him worriedly.]

[Don Alejandro walks into the tavern and up to Victoria and Foucard's table.]

Don Alejandro
Señor Foucard, I heard you were leaving and I'd thought I'd drop around and say goodbye.

[He offers his hand to Foucard, who shakes it.]

Foucard
Ah, thank you.  Have you heard the wonderful news, Señor de la Vega?

[Don Alejandro looks confused.]

Foucard [indicating Victoria with his hand]
Señorita Escalante is leaving with me.

Don Alejandro [looking at her worriedly]
Is this true?

[Victoria looks up at him with a false smile and nods.]

Foucard
She has turned me into a new man.

Zorro [off camera at first]
Now that would be magical.

[Everyone gasps as Zorro jumps off the balcony, grabbing onto the chandelier and swinging across the tavern to land in front of Foucard.]

Zorro [looking over at Victoria]
Excuse my dropping in.

[She nods with relief.]

Foucard
Ha.  I have no quarrel with you.

Zorro
I do not believe the señorita wishes to leave.

Foucard
I don't believe it's any of your business, outlaw.

Zorro
Ah, a beautiful woman is never business.  Only pleasure.

[Zorro kicks the table up on its end and reveals Foucard's sword aimed at Victoria's stomach.  Foucard jumps to his feet and points his sword at Zorro.]

Zorro
Last night, I prevented a robbery on the highway.  The bandit escaped but I slashed his coat.

[He unsheathes his saber.]

Zorro
Why not show us your coat, Monsieur?

[Foucard lunges at Zorro, who parries the thrust.  The two men duel as customers scramble to stay out of the way.  Foucard spins around then holds up a knife which he throws at Zorro.  Zorro uses a wooden tray as a shield and the knife sticks into it instead of him.]

Zorro
Always full of new tricks, I see.

[Zorro tosses the shield away and it lands on Mendoza's foot as he walks into the tavern.]

Mendoza
Oh, oy mandititas zar! [He hops on his uninjured foot.] All I wanted was a quiet meal.

[Zorro and Foucard continue to duel.  Foucard spins around dramatically, aiming for Zorro's head.  Zorro deflects the blow, then slashes at Foucard's head.  Foucard dunks as Zorro's saber swings above his head.
Foucard slashes at Zorro's legs but Zorro moves and Foucard chops off a table leg instead.  It flies over and hits Mendoza on his uninjured foot.]

Mendoza [hopping on the other foot]
Oy, mandititas!

[Foucard lunges at Zorro again and is deflected again.]

Zorro
Swordplay is more than just survival.  It is an art.

Foucard
Your skills do not impress me.

[He lunges at Zorro again.  Zorro parries the blow, then pulls Foucard's sword from his grasp, tucking it under his arm.]

Zorro
And yours are merely cheap illusions.

[He tosses Foucard's sword back to him.  Foucard doesn't look as confident and backs away from Zorro.  Zorro drives Foucard backward in front of Mendoza who stares at them.  Foucard is going backward up the stairs as Zorro attacks further.]

Zorro
A rope tied to a wig mannequin, a fire bellows that coughs, all so we would think you were in bed last night.

[Zorro follows Foucard up the stairs as they continue to duel.]

Zorro [as they pause on the stairs]
But justice is more certain than either the hand or the eye.

[Zorro continues his attack, driving Foucard up onto the balcony.]

Zorro
Trickster by day, highway robber by night.  A most creative dual identity

[He throws out his sword arm and Foucard knocks the saber from his hand.  People gasp.]

Don Alejandro [turning to Victoria]
Zorro is disarmed.

Foucard [aiming his sword at Zorro's chest]
Enjoy your last moment of life.

Zorro
Oh, I assure you, it shall be magical.

[Zorro drops a black piece of cloth onto the floor and it sends up a column of sparks and smoke obscuring Zorro from view.  Victoria looks up as she walks toward the balcony.]

Victoria [worriedly]
Zorro?

[Foucard tries to see through the smoke and finally just jabs into it.  He disappears behind it as well as people gasp again.  Mendoza goes over to the bottom of the stairs, looking upward.  Finally the smoke begins to clear and Zorro emerges, spinning a bound and gagged Foucard over toward the staircase.  Foucard spins to a stop at the top of the stairs with his back to the stairs.  Don Alejandro and Victoria laugh as do others.]

Zorro
Since all loose ends appear to be tied up.  Bon voyage, Monsieur Foucard.

[Zorro presses his index finger onto Foucard's nose and Foucard starts to fall down the stairs, head first on his back.]

Foucard [as he slides down the stairs]
Oof!  Oof!  Oof!

[He stops at the bottom of the staircase, shaking his head.  Don Alejandro and Victoria look up at Zorro and he waves at them before turning and going out a window.  Victoria sees something at her right and goes toward it.]

[Outside, Zorro jumps off a rooftop and onto Toronado's back.  Toronado whinnies loudly and they ride out of the pueblo.]

[Inside the tavern, Victoria kneels down next to Foucard's trunk and opens it.  She takes out his coat, which has a ‘Z' slashed into it.  She looks over at Don Alejandro who nods.]

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

[Foucard's opened trunk sits on the tavern floor.]

Victoria [off camera at first]
I feel like such a fool for believing his lies.

Don Alejandro [sitting at a table with her.]
Ah. [He reaches out and takes her hand.] You mustn't blame yourself.

[He pats Victoria's hand.]

Diego [off camera at first]
What an exciting afternoon!  I just overheard Mendoza telling of Foucard's capture.

Victoria
I can't believe I let myself be taken in by him in the beginning.  It was just that he was. . .he was. . .um. . .

Diego [a bit jealously]
Charming?  Handsome?

Victoria [disgustedly]
Yes.

Diego
They're the worst kind.

[Don Alejandro chuckles.]

Diego
Well, I have something to cheer you up.  What if I told you I could pull a rabbit out of my hat?

[He holds up a black hat.]

Victoria [as Don Alejandro snorts]
I wouldn't believe you.

Diego [shaking his index finger at them]
Ah.

[He holds up the hat so they can see inside it. Then he holds it upside down and circles his hand over it several times before reaching with his hand.  He feels around inside the hat, obviously not finding a rabbit.  He chuckles as he puts the hat down.]

Diego
Well, it worked at home. I swear.

Don Alejandro
Yes.  Well I think we should be going.

[He stands up.]

Victoria [standing up too]
Yes.

Don Alejandro [feeling something in his jacket]
What's this?

[He pulls a white rabbit from inside his jacket.]

Victoria
Oh!  Cute!

[She takes the rabbit from Don Alejandro and smiles over at Diego.]

Diego [looking innocent]
How did I do that?

[Don Alejandro gives him a funny look before chuckling and looking over at Victoria who is fussing over the rabbit.  Diego looks at both of them and smiles.]

*****END OF EPISODE***** 

Transcribed by Pamela Elbert 7 November 2006

This transcription is a not-for-profit publication produced solely for the enjoyment of other Zorro fans and is not intended to infringe upon any rights of Goodman/Rosen Productions, New World Television, Zorro Productions, the estate of Johnston McCulley or anyone else.

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